Family of Residents
Contact & Visitation
Positive contact with your family member who resides at Greystone House is both allowed and encouraged. However we do have rules and procedures for how contact is to be made.
When clients first arrive for intake, they are allowed to make courtesy calls to family to advise the number and address of the facility, and the names and titles of staff handling their care. But once treatment begins, we start an electronics blackout for the remainder of the stay at Greystone.
What that means is, we do not allow clients to have access to personal cell phones or computers. Access to electronics is a privilege earned through the Greystone House Badge System. Badges are earned through clients exhibiting behaviors related to Kindness, Excellence, Use of Coping Skills, and Leadership. Clients also earn badges to events like passing portions of the Greystone Curriculum, participating in optional elective coursework, time sober, and passing of GED tests to list some examples.
Once phone privileges are earned, clients can schedule a call to a loved one based on open time slots daily. They are allowed one 20-minute call. This is strictly enforced, and additional time or phone calls is subject to further acquisition of badges through good behavior and performance.
Should you call the facility, the staff cannot confirm or deny if you family member lives there as that would break HIPAA and we can’t be sure of who is on the other end of the line. Instead, staff will ask to take a message, and the family member will be provided the name and number to call back when there is a break in programming.
Clients can also earn on-site and off-site visitation privileges, but these are once again subject to the Badge System.
Typically, if a client is working diligently on their course work and exhibits good behaviors, they should have access to personal use of House Phones in 2-4 weeks, and Computers in 4-6 weeks. Visitation privileges could be 1-2 months.
Exemptions will be taken under consideration for visitation specifically regarding children and family visitation/reunification as that is considered part of the program itself and not a privilege.
All visits are subject to the rules and regulations of the house.
Expectations
Your family member will be doing programming daily from 8 in the morning until nearly 10 at night every day, Monday through Sunday. As a result, they will be going through a lot of emotional stress and turmoil as we are tackling very heavy subject matter in our classes and counseling sessions.
Please note: it will not help in their treatment for you to be calling in to gossip about family or friends, or placing guilt or blame on them for not being able to assist with any family events or issues.
Once they are in treatment, they need to be given the space to focus solely on treatment. One of the biggest reasons for unplanned discharge and eventual relapse is family or friends delivering stressful news to their loved one which disengages them.
As a result, we do not allow pauses in program to attend any events. This includes births and funerals, both of which have the highest stress risk for relapse.
The reward to completing treatment and getting their life under control is being able to be present and participate in their life again.
They need that motivation to see treatment through because it will be one of the biggest challenges of their life. Please have sympathy for them and support them, even if it feels like they have relinquished or failed on their family duties or obligations. Know that they do miss you and want to return to their place in the family structure. This is a big and repeating subject in the house, so they have not left home easily.
Future Discharge Planning
As we get closer to the graduation and discharge date for the client, we will be finalizing plans for jobs, living arrangements, continued outpatient treatment, and AA programming in the public.
If the client requests it we will bring you into this process as it is more likely to be a successful transition if family and community are part of this process.
If it would be detrimental to the continued sobriety of the client, or to the stability of the household for the client to return home, we will help make arrangements for them to live elsewhere. That could be sober living or private rental. We help graduates with deposits and first month’s rent to help them transition.
Please note that returning home early in sobriety could be a trigger, so it isn’t that the client doesn’t want to go back home but that it might be a risk for relapse to do so. If they determine they need to live elsewhere in the beginning, please find it in you to support their decision.
Changes You May Need to Make for your Loved One
The biggest fear we hear from clients is that they are afraid that friends and family won’t respect their sobriety. That they will belittle or diminish their efforts by drinking or using around them. If someone in your house is not actively sober, that is a big risk for a newly sober person. If you want that person to return home, the home environment may need to change to accommodate this person. If drinking or using in social setting is something that happens in or around your home, it would need to cease.
If that is too big an ask for you to undertake, perhaps your loved one needs to reestablish their life elsewhere. I have heard it voiced by family members that “why do I need to stop drinking; they have the problem not me.” While this is true, it may be necessary to create and participate in a sober environment for the benefit of that family member. This type of change may be necessary for their continued success.
Further, they are going to be trying out new hobbies and new friendships, more than likely with people who are also in sobriety. It may be necessary for you to allow them to explore this revival into life, as returning to familiar patterns and behaviors will likely lead to relapse.